Night Arrows

Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen

2009-06-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've written a full review of a film, but due to some minor arguments I've had in the last of couple of days, I feel the need to address this one.

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

Rating: * (out of 5 stars)

It's hard out there for a critic right now, because the summer movie season is one of the more divisive times of the movie-going year - the summer. It's a time for explosions, special effects, and stars that are picked more for looks than talent (and no movie applies more than the one I am about to review). This is the time of year where we get the films that don't win Oscars, but rack up huge numbers at the box office.

And I'm not saying that this is a bad time for films. It's anything but. So far this summer, I have experienced three films that went above and beyond expectations (JJ Abrams' Star Trek, Sam Raimi's long awaited return to horror Drag Me To Hell, and the current candidate for best comedy of the the year, The Hangover). While I was disappointed with Wolverine and Terminator Salvation, I still had an enjoybale experience with those films.

And so far, none of the films I have seen have been bad...until now, that is. Now, before you brand me as the uppity, pretentious, Bergman/Fellini-loving, Hollywood-hating snarky malcontent that you're ready to burn in effigy (which I am), let me start out saying that Transformers actually holds a special place in my heart. I grew up on the original animated series, I enjoyed the now-cringeworthy Transformers: The Movie, and was surpirised at how much I enjoyed the first Transformers film, despite being directed by Michael Bay, who has made three of the potentially worst films ever made. For every The Rock, Bad Boys, and Transformers, there is a Pearl Harbor, The Island, and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I truly wanted to like this film. I did. And I love bad movies, especially when they are so monumentally crap that they come full circle and become good films. Anyone who has seen Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare will know what I am talking about. But, this isn't a so-bad-it's-good film. This is a just flat out bad film. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it "a racist, sexist, and stupid film that talks down to its audience and runs an hour too long," but I...no, screw it. That's what I am calling this film.

I'm not going to retell you the plot of the film, because it's kind of pointless, and really when it's a Transformers film, what do you need to know beyond big robots fighting? Instead, I'm going to back up my hatred of the film with my reasons why. Here goes.

1. The plot of this film is told to you several times because the filmmakers seem to think audiences are too stupid to remember it when they spell it out the first time and somehow go confused along the way. The story is simple and if you don't even pay attention, you can figure it out. What happened to the use of subtle plot development? In fact, this film is nothing but two hours and 20 minutes of the filmmakers spoon-feeding plot. Is this because the filmmakers think wer are stupid or is our attention span in the days of Twitter so small that we have become this dumbed down? Is this where we are heading? That the most successful ones are the ones on a first grade reading level?

2. Why is this film 2 hours and 20 minutes? What deep story in this film needed this much time to develop? You could have cut this down to 100 minutes and tell the same story. Or is it because if they don't have some sort of explosion/robot fight every three minutes the audience might lose interest? Again, subtlety is always best.

3. Let me address two characters that needed to just be eliminated from the film - Skids and Mudflap. The joke of these two characters is that they are the stereotypical black characters from the ghetto or wanna-be thugs and gangstas. When they aren't perpetuating every unfunny black stereotype in the books, they are adding foul language that has no place in a film aimed at audience members as young as 8 years old. And the number of times they call female characters "bitches" crosses the line on offensiveness. In fact, even once was too much. These characters had no place in THIS film. I don't mind those types of characters or bad language in films, but this film is marketed at kids. They should have been in a Wayans Brothers parody film, because that's where they belong and wouldn't seem out of place. This type of thing tells kids these kinds of jokes are alright. If we're going to win the fight for diversity, these kinds of things have no place in a film kids might see. No, WILL see.

4. How many times did we need the dogs humping? I'm gonna go with none.

5. What was the point of the mom eating pot brownies? It's a funny idea, not for this film.

6. What was funny about a black man working in a deli so he can get new teeth? How did that gag get in here? Racism as a humor device is only effective if you are pointing out the stupidity of racism by mocking stereotype or done with a degree of irony. Or done by the Wayans Brothers.

7. The group of conspiracy buffs in this film was pointless. It's almost mocking anyone who is devoted to a cause, no matter how out there it may or may not be. And also, what 10-16 year old kid is gonna get that?

8. How many times can one character get hit in the nuts? Seriously. Between being tazered and hit in that area, this guy should have been laid out for the rest of the film (possibly after that tazing incident) and not running around as a pointless comedy sidekick. THAT'S SHIA LEBEOUF'S JOB!

9. I know the script began before the WGA strike, but it wouldn't have hurt to push the release date back and do a polish job, except...

10. ...Michael Bay actually began doing the CGI work for the fight sequences before they had a script. And then when a script was comissioned, he told the writers to fill in the gaps to string the sequences together. Cause that's how films are made! And, why does Michael Bay think that by doing shaky cam it will cover bad CGI? It does not.

I know these types of films are supposed to be big, dumb fun. And if that's what they had given me, I wouldn't be on this little soapbox. But, this is offensive trash on every level and has no place in my life. The question is, does it have a place in yours? I hope the answer is no.

We'll see how we disagree on the inevitable sequel.

The Big Damn Plan

2009-04-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

OK, so I came to the realization that I have been nothing but talk and had no follow through on the last ten years of my life. My one dream in life is to be a screenwriter/director. I have talked about this for years and done NOTHING about it. Well, I'm saying bollocks to that and doing something about it.

It is almost May. I am setting a goal to have six feature film screenplays (first drafts only for now) and the pilot scripts for two really rather crap sitcom ideas finished by the end of the year. That's seven months for eight scripts. This is totally doable, though knowing me, I am building in a contingency plan in case I don't make it. That plan is to have no less than 2 scripts written and the rest can stay as outlines and treatments until I actually finish them.

And since about ten people actually read my blog, I am going to post the premises for all of the ideas. And before you point out that some of them are kinda crap or redundant or both, let me remind you that I am writing these to give to an agent and sell to studios to get my name out there and get the ball rolling. Once I get myself established, then I will go into my rebellious stage as a filmmaker.

Film #1: MR. BLACK
Premise: A romantic(ish) comedy about a hitman who suffers a mental breakdown after his girlfriend dumps him and is sent on a forced vacation by his boss who wants him to kill someone or become the target himself. Hilarity ensues.

Film #2: ...AND I FEEL FINE
Premise: A romantic comedy about the end of the world. A man wakes up after a ten year coma and sets out on an odyssey to find his high school sweetheart before the world ends in the Y2K crisis. (And yes I am aware of the blatantly overused musical reference.)

Film #3: CRAWL
Premise: A travel writer and his friends venture into a small town to cover it's annual street festival and end up being the targets of a group of demented killers.

Film #4: AMERICAN ZOMBIES
Premise: The employees and customers of a supermarket are trapped inside the store during a zombie attack brought on by a chemical spill. Shenanigans and hilarity ensue.

Film #5: CHAT ROOM
Premise: A giallo style horror film about the users of a campus dating site being stalked by a mysterious killer.

Film #6: STARTING OVER
Premise: Romantic dramedy about a woman who has been dumped by her husband and her newfound friendship with the woman who was his mistress. Again, hilarity ensues. (My attempt to write an American Almodovar type film.)

Sitcom #1: UNTITLED 25-YEAR-OLD MALE NANNY IDEA
Premise: If the title didn't tip you off, here's what it's about. A 25-year old man loses his job and ends up taking a job as a live-in nanny for the children of two doctors who are rarely home. (If this one never gets picked up or is quickly cancelled, no amount of sleep will be lost.)

Sitcom #2: UNTITLED SITCOM ABOUT A GUY WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA
Premise: It's a comedy about a guy with schizophrenia. His halluciantions are not harmful, but more wacky and annoying sitcom characters. Yeah, it's a bit crap, and if it never is picked up or is cancelled, again, no sleep will be lost. At all. At all.

So, that's pretty much my ideas. I'd appreciate any feedback. I know some of these ideas are, well, bad. But, if they get sold and get me into the public eye, then it's not so bad after all.

The Return of FILM A DAY

2009-01-23T21:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these, so bear with me as I try to catch up. I counted up I currently have 12 of them to write. Plus, tomorrow, I am going to see one, maybe two more films at the cinema, and spend part of the weekend trying to catch up. That is both writing AND watching some films. Let the games begin...

Film A Day #9 - The Unborn

2009-01-09T21:21:00.000-08:00

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

I have to give the marketing team behind "The Unborn" all of the credit for getting me to go to this movie. I mean, look at this poster. It took me an hour to realize that there was a creepy dead boy in the mirror. Good job, guys. You sold at least one ticket.

Actually, if there is one thing this film got right, it was the marketing. You tell me there's a potentially scary movie out there starring an attractive young female, Gary Oldman, and it's from a co-writer of "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight," you've hit upon some criteria that hits the right levels.

Unfortunately, the film does not live up to its poster, or even its trailer. In fact, this film, the first horror film of the new year, is short on scares and underuses most of its talent.

In a film that features the mighty prowess of Gary Oldman and Idris Elba(best known as Stringer Bell on the excellent HBO series, "The Wire"), it criminally keeps them to small supporting parts, with Elba's part pretty much shoved in as a glorified cameo.

But to be fair, the film isn't about them, it's about Casey Beldon (played by "Cloverfield's" Odette Yustman), a young college student who begins having visions of a young, creepy looking boy and some creepy confrontations from a seemingly possessed creepy young boy that she babysits. Basically, there are a few creepy kids in this movie. After an accident that causes one of her eyes to start changing color, she discovers that this is also a trait of having a twin. When she confronts her dad about having a twin, he confesses she had a brother that died while still in the womb. Now, this baby wants to be born.

Along with this, Casey is also still having trouble getting over her mother's suicide while she was being treated in a mental institution. Investigating some of her mother's old stuff, she discovers a photo of her pregnant mother and the same creepy boy in a mirror. Along with this is a newspaper clipping about a Holocaust survivor who has psychic abilities. Casey tracks the woman down and explains to her that what is happening to her is the result of a dybbuk, which is the Kabbalah myth of a spirit that has crossed over from the other side. Casey then tracks down Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman) and asks him to perform an exorcism on her.

From their it travels into very predictable territory. The problem with this film is the problem with a lot of films just like it, you know the scare is coming long before it comes. That's just one of the problems of the genre. Yustman isn't the strongest actress, but she's better than everyone else in the cast, except for Elba and Oldman.

David S. Goyer, the film's writer/director, hasn't made a strong film on his own, though "Blade Trinity" was enjoyable. His strongest efforts have usually been the films he has co-written ("Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight"). He has a knack for visuals, but along with this and 2006's "The Invisible," he hasn't found a nitch for himself.

This isn't the year's strongest horror film, but it won't be the weakest either..."Saw VI" is on the way.

Film A Day #8 - Nightmare Man

2009-01-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers. "Nightmare Man" might be the perfect horror film, as long as you are willing to give up a few things...such as good acting, unpredictable storyline, top notch effects, good direction, good writing...OK, this film has more than a few flaws. It's not quite the worst horror film ever made, but it's close.

I could do a brief run-down of the plot, but I am gonna be lazy and copy the plot straight from Wikipedia. Here goes: The film is about a tormented woman (Ellen) who believes there is a supernatural thing trying to kill her -- her "nightmare man". Her husband and doctors believe she's a paranoid schizophrenic. On the way to psychiatric ward, the Morris' car breaks down. When her husband goes to get gas, Ellen stays behind and is attacked by her mysterious, horrifying enemy, the Nightmare Man. Escaping into the nearby woods, Ellen stumbles upon a country house where two young couples are spending the weekend who are now also in danger. They do not know if the killer is real or just a figment of Ellen's tortured mind nor if the killer is outside or already inside the house. As people start dying, nobody knows whom they can trust. Near the end of the film, the killer is revealed to be a hitman hired by Ellen's husband to kill her before learning about his affairs. Ellen reveals she is possessed by the real Nightmare Man, a demon who enters a female body first by getting them to wear his mask, then he rapes them. As the Nightmare Man, she kills the hitman and her husband. She sets her sights on Mia, the survivor, who kills Ellen, but is stripped and raped by the Nightmare Man's spirit. She is left in an institution, where the doctor decides to take her off her pills, which are the only things that keep the demon asleep.

This film has all of the warmth, charm, and production value of a bad episode of "Red Shoe Diaries." And that may be a disservice to "Red Shoe Diaries." This films would have been lame and cheesy even in the 1980s. In a film full of actors, it's sad to say that none of them could. There is only one famous name in the cast, which was Richard Moll of "Night Court" fame, who is in the film for a total of two minutes. If any of the cast has any luck for the remainder of their careers, they have a future starring in the original movies made for the Sci-Fi Channel.

This film is part of the 8 Films To Die For collection. This isn't a film to die for, it's one that's more of a mild injury.

Film A Day #7 - Towelhead

2009-01-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers.

The subject of racism has been done to death in cinema, from as far back as the late 1960's with such films as "In The Heat of the Night" all the way to the current decade with Paul Haggis' overrated Oscar-winner "Crash." So, when yet another film is made about the subject, one should hope that something fresh comes along with it. Luckily for the film "Towelhead," we have something fresh.

On one hand this semi-autobiographical tale based on Alicia Erian's novel of the same title is yet another tale about how racism is bad, but the main theme of the novel is the exploration of a young girl's sexuality. These two uncomfortable subjects make for an interesting tale.

Set during era of the first Gulf War, "Towelhead" is the story of Jasira (played wonderfully by up and coming actress Summer Bashil). As the story begins, she is shipped from her white mother's home in New Jersey to live with her Lebanese father in Houston, Texas, after her mother's boyfriend takes a sexual interest in her. Her father (played by Peter Macdissi) is a extremely strict, old fashioned man with a hatred of how George Bush is handling the war in Iraq, as he hates Saddam, and an attraction for women of different races.

Not long after her arrival, she meets their neighbors, The Vuosos, a typical white Southern family. The father, played with perfection by Aaron Eckhart, is a reservist waiting to be sent back to the war. Despite the tensions, Jasira is hired to watch after the Vuoso's nine year old son. The son hates the idea that he has to have a baby-sitter, especially one of Middle-Eastern descent. He quickly becomes one of the film's more overtly racist characters, as he calls her "towelhead," amongst various other insults. Things aren't much better for Jasira at school, as her teacher's seem unwilling to pronounce her name and her classmates also shouting various insults at her.

Things go from bad to worse as a brand new complication enters her life - she gets her first period, lending to one of the film's funniest scenes as she and her father are in the supermarket deciding on feminine hygiene products. It also lends to some uncomfortable images in film, as the subject has never been so graphically dealt with on film before - if the idea of women's cycles is at all disturbing to you, this will serve you some very difficult to watch moments.

Even more difficult to watch is when she has her first orgasm while reading pornographic magazines with the Vuoso's son. This begins her odyssey of sexual discovery as she is not exactly turned on by the women themselves, but the idea of being a woman like them. This leads to her exploring her body more, even while sitting in class. One day while babysitting, they are caught by Mr. Vuoso and he promises not to tell her dad. In fact, this goes down an even more uncomfortable road. One day, her doorbell rings while she is alone and she opens the door to find Mr. Vuoso has left her a few magazines from his collection.

One day, while baby-sitting, the young boy calls her some even more horrible insults and she retaliates by hitting him, which he goes to tell his dad. She leaves, but Mr. Vuoso comes over to speak to her father, but he's not at home. He tells her he wants his magazines back, and as she turns to go get them, he comes up behind her and molests her. He freaks out and leaves in disgust of himself. This becomes even more confusing for Jasira as she is not sure if she was excited by what just occurred or revolted.

But, things begin to turn up as she makes a couple of new friends. One is a young black classmate which begins her next sexual conquest. The other is a very pregnant hippy-ish neighbor (played by Toni Collette) who husband is in the Peace Corps. She serves as a confidant and an educator into progressive ways of thinking.

The film then becomes a series of highs and lows in Jasira's life. Her father disapproves of her daughter's boyfriend because he is black. Her relationship with Mr. Vuoso goes farther than it ever should. And it all culminates in one very tense dinner with her boyfriend, her neighbor friends, her dad, his new girlfriend, and a revelation that if you didn't see it coming, you weren't paying attention.

This film is the feature directing debut of Alan Ball, who gave us the screenplay or "American Beauty" and the HBO series "Six Feet Under" and "True Blood." Since his 1999 breakout hit, Ball has remained on top form creating one of the best television shows ever made. With this film, he has shown that he is more than capable of helming feature films as well as creating hit series for HBO. Ball brings elements of the "Six Feet Under" style to his direction and continues to show the dark side of suburban life.

"Towelhead" is a paradox of a film - it's disturbing and heart-wrenching, but at the same time, is heart-warming and never descends into overly-cheesy territory. It's also a controversial film as the film's title stirred concerns of Council on American-Islamic Relations, a notion that Ball both understood and found funny as it was only the title they had concerns about and not the content of the story. The concerns aren't unfounded, but the novel was called that to provoke attention and debate. Ball originally chose to use the book's title, but after some concerns, changed it to "Nothing Is Private," which is an awful title. When Warner Brothers bought the film at Sundance, the first note they gave him was to change the title. After many attempts to come up with a better title, they decided that "Towelhead" was, in fact, the only title for the film.

This is simply one of the best films of 2008 and is finally available on DVD in North America after a very small theatrical run. This is a great film that will spark debate on not only racism, but over the film's overall content. Check this movie out, it is an experience that is rare in American films as it is actually about something rather than a film the average popcorn movie audience. It's an experience that you won't forget for a very long time.

Film A Day #6 - Rocky Balboa

2009-01-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers.

Thus endeth the unintentional "Rocky" marathon. My intention was not to write a five part synopsis of the last five film in the saga, but that just kind of happened. I neither apologize for it, nor am I ashamed of it. In fact, I feel a mild sense of accomplishment now that it's over. It's been a fun adventure.

After the disappointment of "Rocky V," the franchise halted and people thought the saga ended on a down note, and for all intents and purposes, it had. Then the decline of Sylvester Stallone's career began, with only the bright spot of 1997's "Cop Land" to prove he was still relevant. Then, after a number of critically panned and mostly ignored films, Stallone decided to go back to the well. He went back to the well and decided to bring back his mot famous character one last time to give him proper closure.

What he gave us was "Rocky Balboa," the sixth and final chapter in the story. We begin the film with Rocky, now widowed and no longer a fighter, but a restaurant owner with a penchant for telling his customers stories of his glory days. His son, Robert (played by "Heroes" star Milo Ventimiglia), is now an accountant, but only got this esteemed job based on who has father is. The two have a strained relationship. Robert is working to create his own life and Rocky is still living in the past. One night, Rocky travels his old neighborhood and ends up in a bar that used to be Micky's Gym. There he meets Marie, a character he merely walked home in the first film, now a single mom.

Alongside this, the current undefeated champion in the world of boxing, Mason "The Line" Dixon, is having a tough time. Fans of boxing have turned on him because of the rapid speed he knocks out his opponents and think he doesn't deserve his title. When a sports commentator randomly puts Dixon and Rocky into a virtual fight, Rocky comes out on top. This leads to heavy discussion about what would happen if Rocky and Dixon actually fought.

Well, it's not hard to figure out where it goes from here and most of what you think might happen in the films does, but it's not cliched. Rocky and Dixon fight, Dixon wins by a split decision, though the crowd still cheers for Rocky, Robert rebuilds his relationship with his dad, Rocky officially gets "the beast" out of his system, and his relationship with Marie never crosses into a horrible Hollywood film romance. It ends just like it is supposed to.

Overall, "Rocky Balboa" is a heart-pumping, heart-warming affair that can be enjoyed by everyone. It avoids becoming overly cheesy and is the perfect ending to an awesome saga of films. Even "Star Wars" can't boast a 5 out of 6 awesome film ratio. These aren't deep philosophical films, but they are very entertaining and they sit nicely on the shelf. No one looks down on you for liking the "Rocky" films.

Rocky Balboa for the win.

Film A Day #5 - Rocky V

2009-01-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Warning: This review will contain spoilers.

So, it came to this. After four amazing films, the "Rocky" franchise went to a massive slump. Yeah, it's true, but it's not quite as bad as it was made out to be, in my opinion. The reputation this film has put this film on a list of such other dire moments in cinema such as "Batman and Robin," "APEX," "Battlefield Earth," and "Dungeons and Dragons." I think the hatred of this film is actually a bit over the top and overplayed.

True, "Rocky V" is not as great as the first four, but it is watchable. The story picks up after Rocky's fight with Ivan Drago. Rocky calls out for his wife to come see him in the dressing room where he feels like "something inside is broken." He can't stop his hands from shaking and at one point calls he "Micky." After being taken to the doctor, he is diagnosed with brain damage after his years of fighting. Rocky and Adrian return home to their son, who if this actually takes place days after "Rocky IV," then their son Robert has aged four years in a matter of days.

News for them gets worse when they return home when they are told their accountant invested their money in real estate without their consent and has lost it all. Rocky is now broke, along with being broken. The only thing they have left beyond a few possessions is the gym that Micky had willed to Rocky's son. Now, they must work to pick themselves back up. And Rocky finds hope when he is asked to manage an up-and-coming fighter named Tommy Gunn. Rocky eventually accepts the offer and brings him into his family, thus ignoring his son, who is having a rough time in his new school.

But, as Tommy's career is taking off, he becomes disillusioned with Rocky, who seems to be keeping him from taking a shot at a title and leaves him for a flamboyant promoter named George Washington Duke, who is an obvious parody of Don King. King helps Tommy take his career forward, but the crowd turns on Tommy for leaving Rocky. This angers Tommy and Duke tells him he has to challenge Rocky anyway he can. He does, but it doesn't go into the ring, but rather the streets of Philadelphia into a street fight boxing match that serves as Rocky's triumph of the film.

Yes, it's a massive departure and it doesn't have the same fun of the previous four but it's still worth a watch once. After that, you can give it a miss. Stallone himself has written off the movie and hates it, which is why he wrote the sixth and final installment, "Rocky Balboa," so that the saga could end on a high note.

"Rocky V" is not a winner, but it's not a loss. It's a draw.

Film A Day #4 - Rocky IV

2009-01-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers.

Sequels are a very tricky thing. More times than not they are cash-ins with bigger budget rehashed versions of the plot of the first film and aren't as good. But, there have always been exceptions where a second or a rare third film are on par with the original. But, only once has a fourth installment been the best of the saga, especially when the first part won the Oscar for Best Picture. That film, my friends, is "Rocky IV."

Picking right up with the final moments of "Rocky III" where Rocky beats Clubber Lang and takes back his title. Rocky and Apollo Creed are now buddies and are settling down to lead normal lives...but not for long. Trouble arises in the form of an undefeated Russian amateur fighter named Ivan Drago who wants to take on Rocky for a shot at the championship title. But, feeling a sense that he is meant to be a fighter and not settle into a normal life, Apollo Creed asks Rocky to sit in the corner for him as he challenges Drago to an exhibition match before he and Rocky fight. Rocky accepts Creed's request.

Then things go wrong. Creed begins playfully taking shots at Drago in a pre-fight press conference, which goes from playful to deadly serious very fast. Creed goes through with the fight, which is something of a spectacle. But, as soon as the fight begins, things take a serious turn. Creed knows he has been outmatched, but won't let Rocky stop the fight for him. The fight goes on and Drago ends up killing Apollo in the ring.

In the aftermath, Rocky decides to go ahead and fight Drago on Christmas Day in Russia, all of which are decisions that upset his family. The US Boxing Commission refuses to sanction the event, so the fight will not be for any title. Rocky travels to Russia, where Drago is undergoing state of the art training. Rocky's training takes on a less traditional route, which culminates into the saga's greatest montage, if not one of the best montages in film.

When the match begins, the crowd is almost 100% against Rocky and for Drago, but as the fight rages on and on, the tables begin to turn. Drago is proven to not be the ultimate fighting machine he was creates to be, Rocky begins to win over the crowd, and in the end, Rocky takes down Drago.

OK, the political elements of the plot aren't really valid anymore and the films suffers from a bit of datedness, but this is a truly awesome film. For once, a sequel has surpassed the original. Anyone that says this isn't the best installment of the "Rocky" saga is just wrong. This stands alongside the first "Rocky" film and "Raging Bull" as one of the greatest boxing films ever. This is an absolute winner and a truly classic slice of American cinema.

Sound Junkee - "Pressure"

2009-01-04T21:39:00.000-08:00

This is a music video from Sound Junkee for their song "Pressure." The video was directed by Mike Dawson and released through Anonymous Room Productions. Enjoy.

Film A Day #3 - Rocky III

2009-01-04T21:15:00.000-08:00

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Warning: This review will contain spoilers.

I didn't set out for my Film A Day project to turn into a "Rocky" marathon, but it did and I don't really have a problem with that? Do you? Maybe you should step into the ring, cause I've got the eye of the tiger and I pity the fool who....yeah, moving on.

So, after the gloriousness (that is a word now) of the first two "Rocky" films, I feel that "Rocky III" is a slight downfall from the first tow, but it is no way a bad film. In fact, I think it's a great film and actually found myself cheering on Mr. Balboa, which is something I never do.

"Rocky III" begins with the end of "Rocky II," as he fights Apollo Creed for the second time and is triumphant. And as the credits roll, we watch the rise of Rocky Balboa into a major boxing sensation. And as he rises, up and coming boxer Clubber Lang, played by the one and only Mr. T, challenges Rocky to a match. Rocky, now a legend, is now a bit of a cocky bastard and thinks Clubber Lang is going to be a pushover. His longtime trainer Mickey, played with perfection by Burgess Meredith, becomes disgusted with the way Rocky handles his pre-fight training, but roles with it.

When the fight approaches, Mickey collapses before round 1 but sends Rocky on to fight Clubber. But, Rocky finds that his challenger is no pushover and he loses the fight and his title. And, even more devastating, Mickey passes away. Now, Rocky truly feels defeated.

But, out of the ashes rises a new ally for Rocky - one Mr. Apollo Creed. Creed comes back to help Rocky get back in shape and ready to take down Clubber Lang once and for all, leading the two rivals to now become good friends. And as the rematch approaches, you will sit on the edge of your seat, cheering on Rocky Balboa to win back the title he so deserves.

"Rocky III" is an amazing, fun film that holds up twenty-odd years later, though bits of the score and the soundtrack is so very, very 80s, but it just doesn't matter. Anyone who doesn't love the song "Eye of the Tiger" has no soul and must be a very miserable person. OK, that was a bit harsh, but come on. It's "Eye of the Tiger!"

All in all, I am loving the "Rocky" marathon, and I know good things are to come...and then there will be "Rocky V," which I am really not looking forward to and may put it off for a while. Maybe. We'll see how long I've got the eye of the tiger.

Film A Day #2 - Rocky II

2009-01-03T20:50:00.000-08:00

Rating: 4 out of 5

Warning: This review will contain SPOILERS for both "Rocky" and "Rocky II."

The "Rocky" saga has been slightly problematic for me. I managed to spend most of my life avoiding these films. Not because I thought there was great potential for them to be unenjoyable, but rather I just didn't care. The works of one Mr. Sylvester Stallone never appealed to me. But, as my evolution into different types of cinema began, I began to realize that I needed to face a few films here and there that I may have written off or avoided due to the aforementioned lack of care. And with the first installment winning the Oscar for Best Picture in 1976, that proved to me that maybe I might be wrong about "Rocky."

But what really piqued my interest in the franchise was the fact that after the universally hated "Rocky V" crashed and burned in 1990 and a 16 year absence, Stallone decided to once more return to the character and franchise that made him a legend and it wasn't annihilated by critics and audiences, but praised instead.

And there in lay the problem - how do I watch part 6 of a saga, which is all I really wanted to do, when my OCD nature tells me I have to see the first five films - even the dreaded fifth installment.

So, last December, when answering the question of "what do I want for Christmas," on my list of suggestions was the recently released boxed set entitled: "Rocky: The Complete Saga," which had all 6 films in one tight little package. I didn't even care that the first five films had no special features beyond their original theatrical trailers. As much as I would have loved it to contain a reprint of the 2-disc special edition of "Rocky," I settled for this collection because it was what I wanted to satisfy my needs. And really, beyond parts 1 and 6, what is there to say about the rest of them?

And so, on Christmas morning 2007, I received, amongst other things, the heavily desired boxed set of "Rocky: The Complete Saga."

And for nearly a year, the boxed set remained unwatched.

Seriously. At no point did I make any time to watch ANY of these films, in a year that I subjected myself to "Duece Bigalow: European Gigalow." You are now asking, "Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" And I have no reply or explanation.

That being said, last month, I finally sat down and watched the first film. Admittedly, I knew many plot spoilers for the first four films. These films have been around since the mid 1970s and there is an unspoken cut-off point where there is no longer any protection from spoilers. And that's really kinda fair.

"Rocky" was an amazing experience and despite knowing he lost to Apollo Creed, you still kinda hoped he'd pull it off.

So, as part of this Film A Day experiment, I figured it was time to continue progress on the collection and move on to "Rocky II." Now, you might ask, why not start over and review "Rocky" instead of "Rocky II?" Well, it might have been smarter to do that, but part of this is to not retread a lot of old ground. Granted, when I wrote my review for "Sunshine," it was based on my third viewing of the film. And I will review films I have seen prior and some of them will be ones I have seen many, many times. But, I mainly want to focus on unwatched films and new films, as I have quite a large pile of films that I haven't made time to watch. And that's why I went with "Rocky II."

"Rocky II" begins with a shortened version of Rocky's epic match with Apollo Creed from the first film. It then goes into the aftermath of the match. Despite the match being considered a draw, even though Creed really did win, the validity of the match has been called into question by Rocky's fans and supporters. Rocky, however, has his future to think about. The fight left him with diminished vision in one eye and it is advised by his doctor that retires. Rocky agrees his fighting days are over and he retires.

He and Adrian get married and begin to create their new life together. Rocky signs deals to be the spokesperson for numerous products, which will be very lucrative for him financially. But, his poor vision and poor reading skills end his advertising career. At the same time, Apollo Creed's life is breaking down and begins hounding Rocky for a rematch, which he keeps turning down. But, as life becomes harder and harder, the rematch begins to sound like a good idea, as he is a born fighter.

But, the stress of worrying about her husband's life, as well as working while eight months pregnant, proves to be too much for Adrian and she goes into early labor. The baby is born perfectly healthy, but Adrian falls into a coma. Rocky then devotes his time caring and praying for his ill wife. When she recovers, Rocky knows more than ever, he has to fight and prove to himself and the world that he is a fighter and a champion.

"Rocky 2" isn't quite on par with it's predecessor. Both are amazing underdog stories of adversity and triumph, but "Rocky II" falls more into a conventional film of this type, while "Rocky" allowed it's protagonist to not come out the winner, even though it was a personal victory.

But, overall, "Rocky II" is an enjoyable sequel that still makes you want to stand up and cheer. Rocky is one of the best creations to come out of Sylvester Stallone and more than any other role will be the one that he will be remembered for the most.

Film A Day #1 - "Sunshine"

2009-01-02T13:03:00.000-08:00

Rating: ***** (out of 5)

There are very few genres in film that are as niche as science fiction, and part of that may have to do with the questionable standards as many sci-fi films have or it may be down to it's unfair reputation as a brainy genre of film. Well, the latter isn't always true. Anyone that saw the 2008 remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" can say that "brainy" can't always describe sci-fi.

However, there are many sci-fi films that are very intelligent, deep, and not for the average popcorn movie audience. And these films are the ones that prove a lot of science fiction isn't of the lower level monster of the week or atomic age crap that is shown on television over and over again. These are the ones that work on a number of levels and no longer viewed as sci-films, but rather just good films.

Danny Boyle's brilliant 2007 masterpiece "Sunshine" is the latest of these films to be put on this list alongside "Alien," "Blade Runner," "Solaris," and "2001: A Space Odyssey."

"Sunshine" isn't the most original of films, as it has similarities to other films, such as "Alien," "2001," and, unfortunately "Event Horizon." But, these similarities don't jar from enjoyment of the film. Shakespeare once said there were only seven stories in literature. Well, the same is true for film and the number of stories decreases in the realm of sci-fi. That being said, these elements help to make "Sunshine" what it is.

So, what is "Sunshine?" Here's a rundown of the plot. About 50 or so years in the future, mankind is faced with a crisis - the sun is dying and the Earth is left frozen in a sonic winter. A project known as Icarus is created to find a way to restart the sun by sending a crew to send a bomb the size of Manhattan island into the sun to restart it. The crew of this mission is expendable and the first crew and ship, the Icarus I, is lost. Six years later, a second crew is sent on the Icarus II with a second payload to deliver into the sun. Theyare mankinds last hope as they have used up all of the resources needed to make another payload. Essentially, if they succeed, the Earth has a chance to survive. If they fail, mankind faces extinction.

The film follows the crew of the Icarus II who are already well on their way to their destination. As they get closer to Mercury, which is an awesome visual sequence, they pick up a distress call and discover that it is coming from Icarus I. They than face a choice - do not deviate from their mission and deliver the payload or alter course slightly and find Icarus I, not with the intention of looking for survivors, but the opportunity to have a second payload increases their chances of success. The decision is placed in the hands of the ship's physicist Capa, played by Cillian Murphy, reteaming with Boyle after starring in the 2002 apocalyptic zombie horror film, "28 Days Later."

Capa decides that a second payload would be beneficial to the mission, which divides the ship as some feel it's a mistake to do so, while others back Capa, including the ship's captain. This is where it all goes wrong, naturally. When altering course, the ship's shields are not reconfigured for the change, which would have been a 1.1 degree difference, which results in damage to the outside of the ship. Capa is voluteered to help assist the captain fix the damage, which would be just a bit of hard work. But, things continue to go wrong and Capa is ordered back into the ship, as since the payload is his creation and he is the only one besides the ship's computer who can operate it. The captain manages to finish the job just before he is killed. And it continues to go wrong from there, but to reveal any more plot would take away from the experiencing the film on its own.

The third act, which I can't really go into, divides a lot of people as it steers the story in a direction that some either view as a silly idea or they remain on board with it. I am in the latter category.

"Sunshine" is not only just one of the best films of 2007, it is one of the best science fiction films of all time. It's a bold statement, but I completely stand by it. For me, everything is perfect - the cast, the acting, the dialogue, the visuals, and the score - oh, the score.

Fair warning, if you have access to a large TV with an amazing sound system, watch it that way. It will still be good on smaller TVs or using the TV's built in speakers, but the experience won't be the same. This is a film made for cinemas, where I unfortunately wasn't able to see it during its US theatrical run, but it was still a great experience on DVD.

If you love sci-fi, you should definitely check this one out if you haven't already. If you don't like sci-fi, give it a shot. This might be the push you need into a larger world.

My Top 25 Filmmakers

2009-01-02T02:27:00.000-08:00

Note: This originally appeared as a note on my Facebook, but felt the sudden need to post it here. Go me.

Finally got around to composing my list of my Top 25 filmmakers. When I made the list, I took into account artistic integrity, entertainment value, and personal watchability. So, remember that before you start pelting me with stones.

1. Martin Scorsese
Fave Films: GoodFellas, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, Casino, Bringing Out The Dead, The Departed, and Cape Fear

2. Ingmar Bergman
Fave Films: Shame, The Seventh Seal, Hour of the Wolf, Persona, Scenes From A Marriage, and The Virgin Spring

3. Joel Coen / Ethan Coen
Fave Films: Fargo, No Country For Old Men, Miller's Crossing, and Barton Fink

4. Michael Haneke
Fave Films: The Piano Teacher, Funny Games, Cache (Hidden), and Time Of The Wolf

5. David Fincher
Fave Films: Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac, and Alien 3

6. Kevin Smith
Fave Films: Chasing Amy, Clerks, Clerks 2, Dogma, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Jersey Girl

7. Stanley Kubrick
Fave Films: Dr. Strangelove, The Shining, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Full Metal Jacket, A Clockwork Orange, and Eyes Wide Shut

8. Quentin Tarantino
Fave Films: Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill, and Death Proof

9. Danny Boyle
Fave Films: Trainspotting, Sunshine, 28 Days Later, and Shallow Grave

10. Pedro Almodovar
Fave Films: Live Flesh, Talk To Her, All About My Mother, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Volver, and Bad Education

11. Susanne Bier
Fave Films: After The Wedding and Brothers

12. Paul Thomas Anderson
Fave Films: Magnolia, Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood, and Punch Drunk Love

13. David Lynch
Fave Films: Blue Velvet and Wild At Heart

14. Alfred Hitchcock
Fave Films: Psycho, The Birds, Rope, Vertigo, and Rear Window

15. Akira Kurosawa
Fave Film: Seven Samurai, Ikuru (To Live), and The Hidden Fortress

16. Francis Ford Coppolla
Fave Films: The Godfather Part 1&2, Apocalypse Now, The Conversation, and Dracula

17. Christopher Nolan
Fave Films: The Dark Knight, Memento, Batman Begins, and Insomnia

18. Park Chan-wook
Fave Films: Oldboy, Lady Vengeace, and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

19. Michael Mann
Fave Films: Heat, The Insider, Last of the Mohicans, and Manhunter

20. Eli Roth
Fave Films: Hostel, Cabin Fever, and Hostel Part 2

21. Ridley Scott
Fave Films: Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, and American Gangster

22. Kyzstof Kieslowski [* - will move higher once I get through more of his stuff, I am sure.]
Fave Films: Three Colours: Blue, Three Colours: Red, and Three Colours: White

23. Guillermo Del Toro
Fave Films: The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrynth

24. Cameron Crowe
Fave Films: Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (screenplay only), Say Anything..., and Singles

25. Oliver Stone
Fave Films: JFK, Platoon, Wall Street, Talk Radio, Natural Born Killers, and Born on the Fourth Of July

Top Five Writers, Who Are Not Necessarily Always (Or Aren't) Directors:

1. Aaron Sorkin
Fave Works: All (The West Wing, Sports Night, Studio 60, A Few Good Men, The American President, and Charlie Wilson's War)

2. Joss Whedon
Fave Work: Firefly/Serenity and Buffy the Vampire Slayer

3. David Simon
Fave Work: The Wire

4. Alan Ball
Fave Works: Six Feet Under, American Beauty, and True Blood

5. David E. Kelley
Fave Work: Boston Legal

There's a chance this could all change tomorrow.

Plans for this Blog

2009-01-02T01:57:00.000-08:00

OK, I am actually going to use this blog this year. Here's what's coming up:

FILM-A-DAY - My plan is to watch one film a day for the restof the year and then write a review of it. Some days I know it will be hard to pull this off and some days I know I can do more than one, but each will have a review, unless I have already reviewed it. No film will get more than one review.

Plus, I will occasionally do some top 10 lists or similar items, maybe some original writings, and the occasional update on life in general.

So, it's not a lot, but it's something.

I have watched the first film of 2009 already, just got to put it in word form, and get my year end reviews on here.

Until next time.

It's been a while...

2008-10-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

OK, it has been something of a while since I used this blog thing, and I plan to remedy that. So, keep tuned in here. As I watch a film, I plan to write a review as soon as I possibly can afterward. So, keep watching the skies, true believers.

The Strangers

2008-06-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

Rating: **** (out of 5)

WARNING: This review will contain spoilers.

The downfall of many horror films is that they never live up to the trailer. Most trailers for horror films are often more enjoyable than the films themselves, because all a trailer has to provide is some creepy imagery and a few "jolty" moments. Trailers are designed specifically to make the films look enticing enough to make potential viewers plunk down their money for the experience of watching the whole story. The sad reality is that the whole story isn't always as good as the preview. Which could be the reason why so many horror films rely on schtick - "witty" lines from the killer or killers, an unnecessary moment of nudity, or gore that is mostly out of place. Sometimes, the schtick works to the film's advantage. But, most times it doesn't.

Which is why it's very refreshing when schtick doesn't enter the mix. Or when we as audience members aren't spoon-fed tired material and are given works that are fresh, exciting, and either give us something we've never seen before, or use cliches to their advantage. Examples of "The Blair Witch Project," "Saw," "Hostel," and Michael Haneke's original German production of "Funny Games" (and not the shot for shot 2008 American remake) come to mind. They are original works that have given new life to a genre that has otherwise run out of ideas. The unfortunate nature of an original work is that it spawns a copy cat.

"The Strangers," the debut film from writer / director Bryan Bertino is hardly original. It is very much derivative of works like Haneke's "Funny Games." However, Bertino manages to use the material to its advantage and actually makes a truly creepy horror film. A film that manages to live up to and surpass any expectations from one of the creepiest trailers I've seen since "Blair Witch."

The film centers around the couple of Kristen and James, played respectively by Liv Tyler and "Underworld's" Scott Speedman. After a quick flash of the aftermath of horrors to come, we meet the unhappy couple following a disaterous night out that is never fully explained, but the audience is given enough details to work it out. (James has proposed and Kristen turned him down, citing later that she's "just not ready yet.") Now, they are stuck together for the night in James' father's house. The embarrassment and the elephant in the room of their crumbling relationship is the least of their worries.

Their misery is interrupted by a young woman looking for someone who doesn't live there. After she is turned away, James goes out to buy Kristen some cigarettes, in an attempt to drive around and clear his head. As he is absent, Kristen is visited and tormented by another visitor, revealed to be a man in a creepy white mask. When James returns, he finds Kristen locked up in a bedroom, brandishing a knife, and scared out of her wits. The pair search the house, but James is unable to find any proof that someone else is in the house, or even on the property...until he goes to get his cell phone from his car. He then sees that someone has trashed his car. Further torment and exploration reveals that they are not being terrorized by one person, but three - two women, one man, all wearing frightening masks.

"The Strangers" continues the feelings and emotions presented in "Funny Games," while remaining its own separate entity. It isn't a sequel or a follow-up to Haneke's work, nor is it related to it in any way beyond a central theme of people terrorized at home. A major difference between the two films is that, at times, "The Strangers" allows you some reprieve from the tension, but not much, where as "Funny Games" kicks off and never lets up until the credits roll. Another is that Haneke's film is almost bereft of music, with the exception of some that takes place in the story space, where as in Bertino's film, we have digetic music, as well as a score proved by tomandandy, who provided score for Alexandre Aja's remake of "The Hills Have Eyes." It's almost impossible to say if "The Strangers" would have benefited from a lack of score, but the score does work, creating very effective mood music.

I have very few problems with this film, which isn't perfect, but it's one of those films that you know could be tightened up, but not sure where and what to improve. Or, maybe it doesn't need improvement. Remember, this is a debut film. Debut films, even from masters of filmmaking, are ripe with flaws. The flaws in this film are few. This film is truly scary from beginning to end, with a final jolt that will leave you in a state of true disbelief. The film has been left wide open for a sequel, but a sequel would more than likely degrade what Bertino has created, rather than improve upon it. To me, this is a stand alone film that leaves you with no hint of the motivations of the three killers or their identity. Their faces are not completely revealed. You don't even get one of their names. This film is riddled with a mystery that allows it to excel over your standard horror film. The exposition from the inevitable sequel will only take away from the magic of this film. Then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps Bertino will create a sequek that will be just as satisfying as this, his first voyage onto the big screen.

But, my true hope is that he moves onto different territory and crafts a collection of horror films that will allow him to be amongst the brethren of horror greats. Maybe he could even surpass them.

Bryan Bertino is a filmmaker to watch. "The Strangers" is a film that will scare the living hell out of you. Don't wait for DVD, see this in the theaters. You will be spellbound from the beginning of the film and beyond the drive home. This is the best horror film of not only the summer, but the year thus far.

The Evil Genius of Dr. Uwe Boll

2008-05-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

Call him a hack. Call him the anti-Christ of cinema. Call him a golden god. Call him what you want. You are now a pawn in the hands of Dr. Uwe Boll. One of the most hated filmmakers in the last twenty years, Uwe Boll is a name notorious with both film fans and gamers throughout the world. He even has an online petition out that he claims if 1,000,000 people sign it, he will quit the film business altogether. He also has a strong cult following with their own pro-Boll petition as well. Whatever you think of his films (and as I write this, I have seen only fifteen minutes of the good doctor's work), it is completely irrelevant. Dr. Uwe Boll is a genius.

How can I say this when I've not watched a complete film that he has made? Or that he hasn't had a film score higher than 3/10 stars, as rated by the users of the Internet Movie Database (IMDB)? Or that he is simply one of the most cocky filmmakers on the planet? Because, all of this attention that he has recieved, good or bad, has come from all of you. The monster is loose and you created it.

I have no opinion of Dr. Boll, a title that he actually earned with a doctorate degree in literature. I have friends that hate the man for who he is and what he stands for. I have friends who think his work is mediocre at best. I've not met a person in real life that thinks he is brilliant as a filmmaker, but I have read many threads on internet forums with people making sound, rational arguments in favor of the man.

This reviled filmmaker, who came to the U.S. from Germany, where his films were equally panned, reminds me a lot of the mad genius that was Edward D. Wood Jr., whose films like Plan 9 From Outer Space, Bride of the Monster, and Glen or Glenda, were also panned by the critics and audiences alike. Boll seems to suffer from the same sunny outlook on life that Wood had back in the 1950s and 60s, when he made his most famous work. If one person said one positive thing about his work, even if it was about costumes, then Wood declared it a success. Now, decades later and thanks to Tim Burton's cult hit Ed Wood with Johnny Depp in the titular role, Wood is celebrated as a misunderstood genius and a maverick filmmaker. Now, Wood's films are a bit shit, but they are a hell of a lot of fun. It is possible that generations from now could be saying the same thing about Boll.

A lot of criticism comes from the gaming community, as he has made a number of films based on video games - House Of The Dead, Alone In The Dark, and most notably BloodRayne and its sequel and the upcoming Postal, the only film to outright challenge this week's definite box office winner, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

More criticism comes from critics who find the premise and content of Postal, which is a satire of the war on terror with numerous references to the 9/11 attacks (which includes a scene of the hijackers discussing the virgins they will meet in the afterlife) and the relationship between President Bush and Osama Bin Laden. He has drawn criticism from PETA due to scenes involving monkeys and Verne Troyer (which is all you need to know) and a creative use of a cat as a silencer for a gun. The piss-take here is that Boll is a member of PETA.

And the other source of criticism is from those who just say his films are simply not good.

Whatever you think of the man, you cannot stop him. First of all, the first amendment to the constitution gives him the right to say and do whatever he wants in his films and in life within the confines of the law. Secondly, as the old saying goes, "There's no such thing as bad press." And that is the truth. Whether or not you like the man is irrelevant. All of your petitions and forum bashings and diatribes (and equally all the praise he gets, which he does get) gets his name out there. He is extremely well known now. Sources like G4 and Fox News are giving him airtime to promote his films. He has YouTube videos that are watched and posted all throughout the net. And it's all because of you. You are literally trying to put out a forest fire by drowning in gasoline.

I have not yet seen Postal, but I know I will. It is not high on my priorities list and it will probably be on DVD when I see it, but I will. And I know full well what I am getting into. I know it's two hours of juvenile, crude humor that's lower than the levels of trash king John Waters (who I love) and Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I know the laughs will come and they will be more unintentional rather than the ones Boll intended. I even know that there is a chance that the film will offend me, which will be an actual refreshing change, cause at least it will be more of a reaction than most of the films I have seen in the last few years.

Regardless of it all, I applaud Dr. Boll for making something like Postal. It is the ultimate "fuck you" to Hollywood and the studio systems, to critics, to the U.S. government, to an un-winnable war, and to those who are unwilling to just sit down and laugh at a dirty, crude, but possible hilarious film.

Now, I understand that few will be swayed over to the pro-Boll side by my words, and that's now why I am writing this. I am not defending the man as a fan. I'm not and probably will never be a fan of his work. I am a fan of the man himself, though. Uwe Boll does what he wants and loves what he does. He goes outside the U.S. studio system and makes the films he wants to make. He is his own key audience member. Which means, he does not bow to studio pressure and has the final word and final cut of what his films will be. Anyone with more than a passing interest in cinema has got to champion the guy for that, cause not even guys like Martin Scorsese can truly say that.

And the more you bitch, the longer Boll will continue to do what he does. There is an old cliche that says, "It is better to burn out than to fade away." Well, I don't know how long it will take Boll to burn out. The man has at least four projects in some form of production right now. He's made four films in the last two years. He's got a stamina that will outlast guys like Spielberg. If you want to hit him where it hurts, and I don't mean not going to see his films, because audiences have been not seeing his films in droves since he made his first film. But, if you really want to hit Uwe Boll where it hurts, then you have to stop talking about him. You have to stop calling him names and bitching about his films and creating petitions and everything else it is you do to spite the man. Just ignore him. Don't try to stop him, don't flame him on the net (all of you armchair directors who will never have a film resume longer than Bolls, even if you started now), and don't create anything against him that will just result in him getting more press time.

He doesn't care if you like him, he just likes people talking about him. You have fallen into his trap and that is the true evil genius of Dr. Uwe Boll.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

2008-04-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Rating: 4/5

Forgetting Sarah Marshall might just be the most honest film to come out of Judd Apatow's repertoire. The man behind Knocked Up and The 40 Year Old Virgin has made his name of bringing forth some of the best unisex and emotional rom-coms to hit the screen since the film adaptation of Nick Horby's seminal novel High Fidelity.

But, his downfall is that rather than delivering a comedy based solely on the emotion of his characters, and thus making them more real, is that he relies too heavily on two things - crowbarring in his friends and the inordinate need to assault the senses with some sort of joke or gag when it seems that if the movie is funny every five seconds it's somehow doomed.

And while this latest production of his is no exception to this downfall, it's the least affected film to have his name slapped on it.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the second Apatow production of 2008, following his poorly recieved attempt at a family comedy, Drillbit Taylor, is the best of his works this year and, honestly, his best since The 40 Year Old Virgin. Some may cry blasphemy at me for not mentioning last year's critical faves Knocked Up and Superbad, but it's true. Knocked Up ran on about 20 minutes too long and Superbad was completely overrated and just not that funny. Forgetting Sarah Marshall combines Apatow's dirty humor with the sentiment that was present in Superbad and is paced to a near perfection.

Written by and starring Jason Segel, who plays the loveable doofus Marshall on TV's How I Met Your Mother, is perfect as the film's protagonist, Peter Bretter, a composer who does the music for his girlfriend's TV show, Crimewatch. His girlfriend is the titular Sarah Marshall, played by former Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell. Once the universe for the film is set up, our story begins promptly. Sarah dumps Peter and leaves him for another guy. This leaves Peter as a broken shell of a man. In an attempt to get over her, he goes on a series of one night stands with the aid of his step-brother, played by SNL's Bill Hader. These one night stands don't help and Peter takes the advice given to him and goes to vacation in Hawaii.

But, within moments of checking in, he is faced with two problems. One, he has no reservation and the only available room is $6,000 a night. And two, he is at the same resort as his ex. An awkward encounter with Sarah and her obnoxious new rock star boyfriend Aldous Snow, played by newcomer Russell Brand, leads hotel receptionist Rachel (Mila Kunis - That 70's Show) to take pity on him and books him in the only available suite, to Marshall's chagrin.

Peter tries to have a good time, but is still miserable, only made worse by his ex's new relationship literally flaunted in front of him. But, his newfound attraction to Rachel becomes the therapy he needs, as she becomes the anti-Sarah Marshall.

One thing Segel gets perfect in his wonderfully crafted screenplay is that he manages to show the faults of both Peter and Sarah. For most of the film, she is played up as a heartless monster for whom Peter stood in the shadows. But, Peter's faults are shown as well and that he was partly to blame for the demise of their relationship.

While it does wallow in some cliches that come with the territory, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is every bit as smart and funny as everyone else says it is. Funniest film of the year, so far. Here's the pun. See this movie, you won't forget it.

The 2008 Academy Awards

2008-02-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

It's Oscar time again. (Insert a apathetic "yay" here.) But, unlike the last few years, with the exception of Scorsese's wins last year, this year has been fairly exceptional. For once, all 5 Best Picture nominees I have enjoyed. Here's my breakdown of how I want the evening to go for the major categories, followed by a lazy rundown of my picks for the "lesser" categories.

BEST PICTURE
Nominees:
ATONEMENT
JUNO
MICHAEL CLAYTON
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
THERE WILL BE BLOOD

My Pick: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

BEST ACTOR
Nominees:
George Clooney MICHAEL CLAYTON
Daniel Day-Lewis THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Johnny Depp SWEENEY TODD
Tommy Lee Jones IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH
Viggo Mortensen EASTERN PROMISES

My Pick: Daniel Day Lewis

BEST ACTRESS
Nominees:
Cate Blanchett ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE
Julie Christie AWAY FROM HER
Marion Cotillard LA MOME [LA VIE EN ROSE]
Laura Linney THE SAVAGES
Ellen Page JUNO

My Pick: Julie Christie

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Nominees:
Casey Affleck THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD
Javier Bardem NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Phillip Seymour Hoffman CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
Hal Holbrook INTO THE WILD
Tom Wilkinson MICHAEL CLAYTON

My Pick: Javier Bardem

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Nominees:
Cate Blanchett I’M NOT THERE
Ruby Dee AMERICAN GANGSTER
Saoirse Ronan ATONEMENT
Amy Ryan GONE BABY GONE
Tilda Swinton MICHAEL CLAYTON

My Pick: Amy Ryan

BEST DIRECTOR
Nominees:
Paul Thomas Anderson THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Joel Coen / Ethan Coen NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Tony Gilroy MICHAEL CLAYTON
Jason Reitman JUNO
Julian Schnabel LE SCAPHANDRE ET LE PAPILLION [THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY]

My Pick: Joel Coen / Ethan Coen

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Nominees:
Diablo Cody JUNO
Nancy Oliver LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
Tony Gilroy MICHAEL CLAYTON
Brad Bird / Jan Pinkava /Jim Capobianco RATATOUILLE
Tamara Jenkins THE SAVAGES

My Pick: Diablo Cody

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Nominees:
Christopher Hampton ATONEMENT
Sarah Polley AWAY FROM HER
Ronald Harwood LE SCAPHANDRE ET LE PAPILLION
[THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY]
Joel Coen / Ethan Coen NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Paul Thomas Anderson THERE WILL BE BLOOD

My Pick: Paul Thomas Anderson

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Nominees:
Roger Deakins THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD
Seamus McGarvey ATONEMENT
Roger Deakins NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Janusz Kaminski LE SCAPHANDRE ET LE PAPILLION
[THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY]
Robert Elswit THERE WILL BE BLOOD

My Pick: Seamus McGarvey

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Nominees:
Dario Marianelli ATONEMENT
Alberto Iglesias THE KITE RUNNER
James Newton Howard MICHAEL CLAYTON
Michael Giacchino RATATOUILLE
Marco Beltrami 3:10 TO YUMA

My Pick: Dario Marianelli

BEST DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)
Nominees:
NO END IN SIGHT
OPERATION HOMECOMING
SICKO
TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE
WAR DANCE

My Pick: SICKO

The Other Categories:

BEST EDITING
My Pick: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
My Pick: “Falling Slowly” (ONCE)

BEST ART DIRECTION
My Pick: SWEENEY TODD

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
My Pick: ATONEMENT

BEST MAKEUP
My Pick: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END

BEST SOUND
My Pick: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

BEST SOUND EDITING
My Pick: TRANSFORMERS

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
My Pick: TRANSFORMERS

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
My Pick: PERSEPOLIS

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
My Pick: KATYN (Poland)

Welcome to my Blog.

2007-12-25T21:22:00.001-08:00

Greetings and welcome to my blog. Here I hope to enlighten yo to my highly refined opinions and steer you in the right path and away from the horridness that Hollywood offers. (Remember, this is my opinion only...which means I'm always right.) Enjoy.